I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
