she was so not down for the gang bang
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
