I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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