Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
