dude i'm inner monologue high
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's never too late to be topless.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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