do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
