I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Farmville is her only friend.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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