My balls are so social today.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
