I'm going to jail i love you
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
