i wish my penis had a tongue
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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