with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Randomize
