I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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