ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
