This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
