Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize