Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
