let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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