So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
