Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
