And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
