I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
