Taylor Swift is so right about you.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
