So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
