I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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