I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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