In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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