Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
