please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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