You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
