I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Randomize
