i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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