so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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