you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
it was like eating out sand paper
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
