is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
