wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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