I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
