New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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