brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
