Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize