His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
