I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
