NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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