And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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