There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
