Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
