You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
