Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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