does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize