Apparently you make a good broom.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
