I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
