I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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