is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
