How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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