Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
