I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
