omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
