Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
