Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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