Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
