Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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