my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
