how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
