I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
