We're like a lot better than the average bears
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
