I just threw up on my dentist
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
