Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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