she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
