he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
